"We Barely Know Each Other" A Conversation On Dating In the Social Media Age
As generation Y millennials, we live lives are that are nomadic and extremely busy. Digital media serves many roles in our lifestyles. It helps us quickly place food orders, transport around our respective cities, deliver news fairly quickly, and even meet the potential love of our life.
With apps like Tinder, Grindr, and Bumble, you’re exposed to dozens of options all within a 20 mile radius of your location. Whether you’re looking for a one night stand, a romantic date, or some crazy kinky fetish (shhh, I won’t tell) you can find someone looking for the same thing as you, within fifteen minutes tops.
Our unlimited amount of choice is amazing, in theory, but is too much too good for us? Has digital media completely changed our standards and expectations for dating? More importantly, are we forgetting that flaws are a good thing and no matter how many swipes to the right you complete, you’re going to find something wrong with anyone you meet.
A few months ago, I met a guy on Twitter. He messaged me leading with the fact that we have a mutual friend. So I was immediately with it, if (said friend) liked him, I’m sure I would too. This boy turned out to be extremely elitist and slightly sociopathic. After doing a little digging, because I always do my research, I found out he dated a friend of mines and tried to talk to two other boys that I know. There I was, feeling special that I finally met a guy that I can vibe with intellectually (minus our opposing political views) and this man is a serial dater using the same pickup lines on multiple men in my network.
The moral of the story is that meeting people online, while inevitable if you are an avid social media user, is dangerous in the sense that you are getting an edited version of the person and they are only allowing you to see what they want. So, this isn’t to say you shouldn’t talk to anyone online, just do your proper vetting before catch feelings.
And if you do find out something that you don’t particularly care for, that does not mean that you have to completely write them off. Instant gratification is a double edged sword, if we want it now we can get it now, but this also creates a distorted reality that there will always be another option. Eventually, your options run out, and you and your extremely high standards will be alone.